Dumb game show answers

Just found this on MSN and it had me in tears of laughter.

Family Fortunes
Max Bygraves: Name something people take to the beach
Contestant: Turkey

Les Dennis: Name a topping you'd put on a baked potato?
Contestant: Jam

Les Dennis: Where is the Taj Mahal?
Contestant: Opposite the dental hospital

Les Dennis: Name a bird with a long neck?
Contestant: Naomi Campbell.

Les Dennis: Name something associated with pigs.
Contestant: The police.

Les Dennis: Name something red.
Contestant: My cardigan


The Weakest Link
Anne Robinson: Name the man who was President of Italy until May 2006.
Contestant: Don Corleone.

Anne Robinson: Complete the title of the well-known play, The Iceman...?
Contestant: Melts.

Anne Robinson: What was the sequel to the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer?
Contestant: I Know What You Did Last Winter.

Anne Robinson: What B was a pseudonym used by Charles Dickens?
Contestant: Bart Simpson


University Challenge
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, goosey

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.


Beacon Radio
DJ: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


GWR FM, Bristol
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


National Lottery Jet Set
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
Contestant: Basketball.

Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.


Richard and Judy
Richard Madeley: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.


Dog Eat Dog
Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton.


This Morning
Fern Britton: Which actress starred in Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally?
Contestant: Tom Hanks.


Late Show (BBC Midlands)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.

Blockbusters
Bob Holness: What K is a suicide mission for a pilot?
Contestant: Kama Sutra


Wogan's Perfect Recall
Terry Wogan: Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?
Contestant: Hazzard.

Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
Sara Cox: Beauty is in the eye of the...?
Contestant: Tiger


2CR FM
Presenter: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
Contestant: Leonardo di Caprio.

Heart FM
Presenter: Emmental and Double Gloucester are both types of what?
Contestant: Banks


Viking FM
Presenter: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
Contestant: George Bush.


Spin Star
Darren Day: What area of Germany is the cake named after, made with chocolate, cream, kirsch and cherries?
Contestant: Belgium.


BBC Radio Merseyside
Presenter: What was Hitler's first name?
Contestant: Heil.

2:08, the look on Les Dennis face!